Chapter 29: The Bitter End

Four weeks later
********

They finally managed to get trough to Lucky after a few days. However, when he came
out of his self imposed catatonia, he wasn’t the same.

He was quiet. He spoke only when spoken to, and avoided everyone.
Because of the extent of his injuries, Luke and Laura had moved him back into their
house.
The fact that Lucky didn’t protest this was the first sign that he wasn’t fine.

Physically, he was healing. The ribs were set and bandaged. They healed nicely. His
bruises went away, and his face was left unscarred. His left wrist and two fingers
were still in a cast, but they were set to be freed soon. The broken jaw had been a
problem. At first, everyone assumed that he wasn’t talking, or eating because of it.
After two weeks, it healed, and he didn’t change.

Luke, Laura, Elizabeth, and even Nikolas had tried everything the could to bring him
out. He needed to talk about what happened, but he refused. Every time the topic
would come up, he would either tune everyone out, or simply leave the room. Luke had
even caved in and agreed to send him to see Gail Baldwin, but he wouldn’t talk to her
either.

Elizabeth seemed to be having the hardest time getting through to him. He avoided
her. She stopped by every day, and every day would be the same routine. She would go
up to this room, and sit with him. She would try to bring up the weather and things
like that, and sometimes he responded. Other times, he ignored her.
She couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t talk to her.

Once, he started to. That one time made her realize a little bit how much the ordeal
had affected him .
They were walking towards Kelly’s. They were meeting the Spencer’s there for a late
breakfast. Luke and Laura had offered to drive them, but Lucky seemed to have an
aversion to cars. He wouldn’t go with them. He said he would rather walk. She had
gone with him. They were holding a normal conversation about the coming up summer.
Things seemed almost normal. When they got to Kelly’s, the food had already been
ordered.
They sat down at the table and Tammy came out with their orders. Laura had ordered
bacon and eggs because she knew that they were Lucky’s favorite.
When the plate was put in front of Lucky, he just stared at it. Laura said something
about him needing to eat, and Lucky picked up the fork with some food. He brought it
up to his mouth, but immediately slammed the fork down and ran out of Kelly’s.

Elizabeth had run after him and finally caught up to him at the docks.
“What’s wrong?”
No answer from Lucky.
“Lucky, why did you leave?”
Still nothing.
“Lucky?” she reached out to put her hand on his arm, but he moved away before she
could.
“I’m sorry” he finally said.
“Sorry? For what?”
“I should have been there. That night, and every night after that I should have been
there. I should have known what he was capable of”.
“Lucky, what are you talking about? The night Tom kidnapped you?”
“No....Yes... I don’t know anymore. I thought.... I thought that I had it figured
out, but I was wrong”.
With that, he had turned and walked away, Leaving her standing alone at the docks,
confused.

She had told Luke, but Luke didn’t have much luck with him either. Lucky avoided Luke
too. Elizabeth had caught Lucky looking at his father once, and she could have sworn
she saw guilt in his eyes. Why, she had no idea.

Nikolas had been a big help. More than either Luke, Laura, and Elizabeth, to Luke’s
dismay. Lucky didn’t seem to feel obligated with him. He was still quiet and
reserved, but he wasn’t tense. They would take long walks, and talk. Nikolas said
that he didn’t talk about the 4 days he spent with Tom, but they would talk about
other things. Sports, music, movies, things like that. Nikolas seemed to like the
renewed closeness with his brother. Lucky did too.

Lulu seemed to be the only one he’d let get close. He would take her and Foster out
and play with her. The only times he seemed right were when he was with her. She had
even managed to make him smile. Lulu’s outings with Lucky and Nikolas had become a
ritual, and all three of them looked forward to them.

Now, Elizabeth was standing at the Spencer’s front porch, wondering what today would
bring. She was here late, because she had to work today. She knew Laura was gone, but
Luke’s car was in the driveway, so she knew Lucky wasn’t alone.

She knocked and Luke let her in. She said hello to him and was about to go up the
stairs to Lucky’s room when Luke motioned to the couch.
The television was on, and Lucky was on the couch. He had apparently fallen asleep
watching it.
“This is the first peaceful sleep I’ve seen him take” Luke said.
“I know” Elizabeth said and went to sit beside him, to keep him company while he
slept. Just like he’d done for her on so many occasions.

She had been sitting there for about a half hour when Lucky began to stir. She
thought that he was awake, so she turned to greet him.
His eyes were squeezed shut and he was mumbling something. His fists were closed
tight, and held close to his sides. The ropes had left scars on the wrists. She could
see them now, as the sleeve pulled back from his hands.
“How could you?....” he whispered, still dreaming. “How could you hurt her?”
‘What?’ Elizabeth though. ‘Who’s her’
“No....” he shook his head, as if trying to shake himself out of whatever it was he
was dreaming. “He’s not like you....”
“No!” he screamed and struck out with his left hand, knocking over the picture frames
that had been on the side table. They tumbled to the floor with a loud crash.
“Lucky!” she said, trying to calm him down.
He turned at the sound of her voice, but when his eyes reached hers, she could tell
he wasn’t seeing her. He was seeing right trough her.

Luke had heard the commotion and had come downstairs to see what was going on. When
he saw the look on Lucky’s eyes, he felt afraid for Elizabeth. He was afraid Lucky
would strike out at her thinking she was someone else.

He got to them and grabbed Lucky’s shoulders, turning Lucky towards him. He must have
done it too quickly, because Luke could see the fear in Lucky’s eyes as soon as he
touched him.
Lucky got up, and roughly pushed Luke back, loosening Luke’s grip on him. He turned
and ran out of the house.

“I’m going after him, you stay put” Luke said as he got up and ran after Lucky.

********

‘What the hell am I doing? It’s just my dad, why did I freak out like that?’ Lucky
though as he ran in no particular direction. All he knew was that he needed to get
away.
‘They all want to help, why won’t you let them?’ he asked himself.
‘How can they possibly help? How can they understand? They can’t, so there’s no point
in rehashing it. Besides, you’re smart, you can handle this on your own’ he told
himself.

The truth, however, was very different. He was falling apart. He hadn’t been able to
sleep since the day he saw Tom in the hospital. The days after that were blank to
him, but since he could remember, he had been plagued by nightmares. He wasn’t
necessarily afraid of the dark, he was just afraid to close his eyes. Closing his
eyes made the memories that much clearer.
The move back home hadn’t been his idea, but he figured he shouldn’t cause more
trouble.
Most nights, he went out onto the part of the roof below his bedroom window and
stared at the sky. He was still trying to sort out what had happened. He could
remember every vivid detail, and he knew that if he closed his eyes, he would live it
again. He didn’t want to do that.

He looked at his surroundings, surprised that he had ended up in the park. The place
where his life, as he knew it, had ended on two different occasions.

His parents had been trying to get him to talk to them, but how could he? How could
he explain to them something he didn’t understand himself?
Elizabeth was another story. She, too, had tried to get him to talk. He had almost
done it once. With her, it was the same problem. How could he tell her the things he’
d realized about Tom and his dad and himself, if he was unwilling to admit them yet?
Talking only made things worse. He had to deal with everything himself. If he could
control the fear, anger, and helplessness, then he would be fine.

He felt the person behind him, and he panicked. He was going to fight back. He wasn’t
going to let the bastard win this time.
Before the guy could grab him, Lucky turned and swung, attempting to hit the guy. The
other man was taller and bigger, and effortlessly blocked his blow.
They struggled for a while, Lucky desperate to get away. When he realized he wasn’t
going to be able to, he went limp, making the other guy hold him up.
He had closed his eyes, so he wouldn’t have to look into his face again. When the
other man stood him up and let him go, he opened them.
He was shocked to find himself staring into his father’s eyes.

“I’m sorry” Lucky said.
“We need to talk, Lucky”.
“There’s nothing to say”.
“Like hell there isn’t!” Luke said, and began to pace. “I have watched you for the
past 4 weeks, wondering what I could do to make you better. I’ve tried talking to
you, offering support, but you turned me, and everyone else, away. I have run out of
options, Lucky. I don’t know what to do anymore”.
“Don’t you get it?!?” Lucky yelled. For the first time showing real emotion. “You can
’t help me. You weren’t there. You have no idea what it was like!”
“Why don’t you tell me, then. Tell me what happened”.
Lucky didn’t respond.
Luke was about to continue when he heard Lucky say, very softly, “I can’t...”
“Why, Lucky? Why can’t you?” Luke asked, matching Lucky’s tone.
“Because,” he paused and ran a hand trough his hair, confusion etched into his face,
“I don’t know”.
“What don’t you know?”
This wasn’t what Luke expected at all. He had thought that Lucky needed to let the
anger out, so he thought he’d provoke him. It had started ok, but what was happening
now wasn’t what Luke had planned.
“He....” Lucky paused, unsure of what to say. “He said things to me. It made me
think.”
“What did he say?”
“He said I’d hurt him”.
“What?!? How?”
“By sending him to jail”.
“Oh, Lucky. You know that’s not your fault right? You know that he deserved it, and
you were only trying to protect you friends right?”
When Lucky didn’t answer, he repeated “Right?”
“I could have gotten away, you know”.
“Why didn’t you?”
“If I got away, he was going to go after....” Lucky couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Elizabeth” Luke finished for him.
“Yes”.
Lucky walked back and stood facing Luke.
“I used to compare you to him. I used to think you were like him”.
“Used to?”
Lucky was quiet for a long time. Luke wasn’t sure if Lucky had heard the question.
“You’re not like him at all” he finally said.
Luke was surprised by both admissions and by the fact that this was the most he’d
been able to get out of Lucky in a month. he was desperate to keep the conversation
going.
“Why is that?”
Lucky looked into Luke’s eyes. Luke did the same, and saw the tears welling up in
Lucky’s eyes.
“Because you’re human. You’re my father...” he whispered.
Lucky began to tremble, and it had nothing to do with the weather. Almost 5 weeks of
pent up emotions were threatening to spill. The truth was, he no longer had the
strength to keep them bottled up.
“He wanted to break me. He wanted to see me cry and hear me scream” Lucky said, his
voice rising with each sentence, until he was yelling. “He played me like a violin.
He knew exactly what buttons to push to get me to react”. He paused, his tears
finally falling.
“I tried.....” he began, then stopped when he began to sob. “I tried so hard to not
to give him what he wanted, but he had the control. He was calling the shots. No
matter what I did, or what I said, he always had the upper hand”.
Luke stepped forward and reached out to Lucky.
“No! Stay away form me!”
“Lucky, let me help”
“I already told you, you can’t!”
He was crying openly now, unable to hold onto the emotions any longer.
Luke’s heart was breaking. Here was his only son, his pride and joy, falling to
pieces in front of him, and Luke felt as if he were a million miles away. He looked
into Lucky’s eyes and saw the longing there. After 5 weeks of fear and pain, he
needed safety and love.
Luke stepped forward and grabbed Lucky by the shoulders, pulling him towards him.
Lucky struggled to get free, but Luke’s grip was iron tight. Luke wasn’t going to let
go.
Finally, Lucky slumped against him, letting everything go. He finally felt safe. He
felt at peace in his father’s arms.
Luke rocked him back and forward, as he’d done many times when Lucky was younger. He
rubbed his back, and stroked his hair, letting Lucky cry.
“It wasn’t your fault, Lucky. No matter what Tom Baker said to you, it wasn’t your
fault. Do you understand me? “
Lucky didn’t reply right away. When he did, he asked, “Is it over?”
Luke thought about it. “Over? Well, I suppose it’s the end of this phase. A bitter
end at that. However, you can look forward to a new beginning.....”

Father and son remained in each other’s arms for a long time, each seeking comfort
and peace from the other.
The stars, which had seen many cruel and horrible things happen in this park, stood
as silent witnesses as these two lives were restored.

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