Chapter 18: Despair

Lucky was disoriented when he awoke. He was lying on the cold floor of the kitchen,
on his side. He hurt all over. His ribs ached, and his mouth felt swollen. He could
barely feel his lips. He had no feeling in his hands and arms. He wiggled his
fingers, but didn’t feel if they had moved or not.
He looked around and realized that Tom wasn’t there. There was no sign of him ever
being there. No luggage, no nothing.
The sun was high in the sky, so Lucky figured that it was past noon. He moved around
a bit, but couldn’t find a confortable position. Finally he decided to give up and
save his strength.
‘How long has it been?’ he wondered. ‘Two days? Three?’ He’d lost track of time. He
felt absolutely helpless. Here he was, tied to a stove, unable to move at all. Unable
to help himself.
That was what bothered him the most. He had been raised to be self-sufficient and
resourceful.
In his current situation, he was neither. He was completely dependent on Tom and at
the same time, he was at Tom’s mercy. Nothing Lucky said or did would get him out of
this one. Even if, by some miracle, he managed to escape, he would only be putting
Elizabeth at risk. Lucky knew that Tom would carry out his threat to hurt Liz if
Lucky escaped. He had seen enough of Tom to realize that the guy was unbalanced and
dangerous.
Lucky was afraid, even though he told himself not to be. He didn’t want to die. He
had too much to live for. He had so many things left to do.
However, he had no doubt that Tom was capable of murder.
The only thing Lucky could do was try to ride it out and hope that someone would find
them.
‘How?’ he wondered. ‘We’re in Vermont. How would anyone know to look for us here?’
Maybe everyone in Port Charles already thinks I’m dead and no one’s even looking’.
He closed his eyes and tried to block the thoughts away. That didn’t help, because
with his eyes closed, he could re-live the past two days. He desperately didn’t want
to do that, because he didn’t want to lose what little control he had. ‘You can’t
panic. You have to stay calm’ he told himself over and over.
“Calm! How the hell can I stay calm?” he said. “How much more of this am I going to
have to take?”
He felt himself losing control. He knew it, and couldn’t do anything to stop it. He
was tired, cold, hungry, and in a lot of pain. He hadn’t really slept in the past two
days. The times he hadn’t been awake, he’d been unconscious.
All of that was finally getting to him.
His mind was starting to really deal with what he’d been telling it to forget.
Being here alone, left him nothing to do but think. In his current situation,
thinking was the last thing he needed to do. Thinking only brought fear and
helplessness. He desperately wanted to avoid that.
Lying there on the cold floor, however, he couldn’t help it. He was scared, and he
was fast losing hope.
Before he knew it, he felt the tears falling down the side of his face, and the sobs
escaping from what felt like deep within his soul.
He knew he should probably make himself stop, but he was too tired to even try.
Finally, exhaustion took over and he succumbed into a fitful sleep.

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