Chapter 36:

Stefan knocked on the Brownstone door, praying that Barbara would not shut the door in his face. After the fight with Lucky, he realized how far apart the distance was separating him and his son. And he had no clue how to get Lucky to trust him. He did, however realize that he needed to prove to Lucky that Luke was not worthy of being a father to a Cassadine. Sighing, Stefan waited patiently for Barbara to answer. He let himself relax a little when he heard the door open.
"What do you want?" Bobbie sighed impatiently.
"Barbara, I wanted to talk to you."
"Come in." Bobbie opened the door wider to allow Stefan to come in. Stefan walked in, but didn't say anything.
"So talk." Bobbie was still furious at him, and wanted to know why he was in her home. "I want you to come home."
"Why?" **Why do you think I could trust you again?** Bobbie thought to herself.
"I miss you." Bobbie looked at Stefan in surprise, he rarely said how he felt.
"I can't go home. I don't trust you."
"Barbara, I am sorry."
"Are you, Stefan? Are you really sorry that after I was finally able to trust you again, you broke that trust?"
"I don't know what to say. I hate that I have hurt you." **Why do I always hurt those that I care about? I have hurt Barbara, Lucky, and even Nikolas. They did not deserve to be hurt by me, but I have hurt them anyway.**
"I know Stefan, but I can't forgive you quite yet." Bobbie paused for a second. "Have you talked to Lucky?"
"Yes, he is still so angry."
"What do you expect? He has just found out that everything he believed in was a lie."
"I know, but I want him to think of me as his father."
"I don't think you can hope for that much. To Lucky, Luke is the only father he has ever known."
"Luke doesn't deserve him." Stefan could tell that that was the wrong thing to say. Despite the fact that Luke did not like their marriage, they were still very close, unlike what happened during their first marriage. "And you do? You lied to him, and you used him in a game against his father. You called him a peasant, and you warned Nikolas against his own brother, your son." Bobbie yelled.
"I realize that I in the past that I have treated Lucky poorly, but I want to make it up to him." Stefan responded desperately as he stepped towards Bobbie. He wanted someone to support him, and he hoped that Barbara would.
"How?" Bobbie crossed her arms in front of her.
"How were you and Caroline able to form a mother and daughter relationship?"
"It was hard, Stefan. We both had hurt each other badly. It took me a while to trust her motives where I was concerned. And it took her awhile to realize that I have always loved her. It took Michael being kidnapped for any kind of real bond to form."
**Hopefully, it won't take something like that for Lucky and I to have a chance. Stefan thought to himself.**
"What should I do?"
"Don't pressure him, but don't give up on him. And don't criticize Luke or support Laura. If I know anything about my nephew, he is definitely furious at Laura, and there is nothing you can say to change that. And as for Luke, Luke was always there for him, while you weren't. Just like Virginia was there for Caroline and I wasn't. Despite the fact that Caroline will occasionally call me Mom, Virginia is her Mama. Virginia watched my baby grow up. (Bobbie wipes the tears from her eyes, as she thinks about everything she has missed). There is nothing I can do to change that fact, the only thing I can do is be here for Caroline now." Bobbie walked over to sit on the couch in the living room.
"What if Lucky won't let me near him?" Stefan moved to sit next to her. "You have to show him that you care, and you have to do that on your own. A parent is not made by blood alone. A parent is someone who is always there for their kids."
"I hope Lucky will let me get to know him." **I want Lucky to know that he is my son, and that he is important to me. I wish that he could come to me for advice, like Nikolas has. I want him to be happier than I was. To know he is a part of my family, no matter what he wants. I will always be there for him. If only he would let me in. I don't blame him from letting me in. I was deprived the opportunity to get to know Lucky, and I won't make the same mistake again.**
"I hope for your sake he does."
"Thank you, Barbara. I have taken up too much of your time." Stefan got up to leave. Bobbie watched Stefan walk away and couldn't get the look of sadness on his face out of her mind. She knew that she would forgive him eventually, and that despite it all she still loved him, and she needed to know that he still loved her.
"Stefan, don't go." Bobbie was as surprised as Stefan was at her request, but she didn't change her mind. Stefan walked over to Bobbie and kissed her gently at first but then more aggressively as their mutual need consumed them. Somehow, although neither of them could tell how, they made their way to the couch and made love.

((((((()))))))))((((((()))))))

"Why am I doing this again?" Lucky asked Nikolas as they drove over to the Spencer house to see Lulu.
"Because you want to see Lesley Lu."
"I know, but unfortunately seeing Lu, means dealing with Laura. Which I don't want to do."
"Lucky, we talked about this just sit in the car and wait. I'll get Lu, who will be excited about seeing you." Nikolas said pulling in to the driveway.
"Okay, but I don't want to see Laura."
"I'll try to keep her away. I'll be right back." Nikolas said as he got out of the car. He walked up the walkway to the Spencer house and rang the doorbell.
"Nikolas, I am so happy to see you." Laura said as she opened the door.
"Laura." Laura was saddened by the cool tone in his voice.
"Come in, come in." Laura tried to remain cheerful.
"I just wanted to see if Lu wanted to go to the park with Lucky and I." "Lucky is with you?" Laura peered around Nikolas in hope of getting a glimpse of her other son.
"Yes, but Laura…" Laura ignored him and walked over to the car. "Laura, he doesn't want to see you." Nikolas called from behind her. Laura paid no attention to him. She wanted to see her son.
Nikolas was about to run over to the car, but was distracted by Lu. Nikolas decided it was better to keep Lesley Lu from the scene that was about to take place.
"Nikki, I want to see Lucky."
"I know Lu, but it's better if we let Laura and Lucky talk alone, okay?"
"Okay."

((((())))))(((((()))))

Lucky watched Laura approach and silently cursed Nikolas for not distracting Laura.
There was no way for Lucky to avoid the confrontation that was about to take place. So he got out of the car.
"Lucky, it's so good to see you." Lucky leaned against the jaguar trying to act like he didn't care about anything.
"I told Nikolas, I didn't want to see you." Lucky responded without emotion.
**So why didn't you listen to him?** Laura knew this was not going to be easy.
"Lucky I am your mother, and I wanted to make sure you were ok." **Some mother you are?** Lucky thought to himself as he continued to try to mask the pain that she has caused him.
"As you can see I am fine." **Now go away.** Laura tried to reach out to him, but he avoided her touch.
Laura sighed. "Lucky, I know it came as a huge shock to you, and-"
"A shock?" Lucky laughed bitterly. "You could say that, I mean it's not everyday someone finds out that they had a different father from what they were told."
"Lucky please." **Please listen to me.**
"Why? So I can hear more of your lies? I don't think so. I have stopped listening to you."
"Lucky, I love you." Lucky pushed himself off the jaguar.
"Yeah right, how can you love someone you continually lie to?"
**Why did you lie to me?**
"I was scared, and I knew that Helena would kill you."
"Yeah, well, I am still here." Lucky began to pace as Laura watched silently awaiting the explosion that was inevitable.
"How can you tell me that you lied to protect me, when from the moment I was born I was told that lies will get you killed. Until I was ten, there were only two people in this world that I trusted. My parents. If anyone had asked me, I would have known with out a shadow of a doubt that you were always going to be straight with me. Because I knew if you weren't than someone could get killed. So why did that change?" Lucky pauses for a second. "But I guess it didn't change, not really. After all you had lied to me since the day I was born. You told me Luke Spencer was my father, but he wasn't. I thought I was the oldest son, but I wasn't. Instead I am just the result of a one- night stand with my father's worst enemy. It's funny really, I can remember how perfectly in sync you and Luke were, and I could see the love. But I guess even that was a lie. Because how could you lie to him too? How could you lie to him and let him believe that he was raising his son, instead of a Cassadine bastard." Laura couldn't believe that Lucky could think that Luke would not want him. She knew how much pain he was in. "Lucky, I have always loved you and so has Luke…" Lucky went on as if Laura wasn't even there. He didn't look at her. He couldn't see the tears that were pouring down her face, but he knew they were there. They always were. "I guess the one thing I can be grateful for is the fact that I didn't hear this family secret from Nikolas. This time I knew something before he did. I didn't think it was possible." Lucky walked away from Laura and into the house to see Lulu. He didn't look back as Laura crumpled to the ground. **I have lost him.**

Chapter 37:

Stefan Cassadine woke upstairs in the Brownstone the next afternoon. At first he couldn't remember what had happened the night before, but as the morning grogginess left him the memories came flooding back. He remembered his argument with Lucky and Luke, which had ended with Lucky throwing the medallian back at him, much to Spencer's enjoyment. After the fight, Stefan for the first time in a long time felt how dismal and lonely Wyndemere could be with out those he loved, so he found himself going to the Brownstone to see Barbara. He couldn't remember how they had made it upstairs, after losing themselves in each other. But he was disappointed that Barbara was not there the next morning. He wasn't surprised however, his wife was not a person that forgave easily. Stefan, never one to lay in bed, decided that it was time he talked to his wife. He got dressed and walked downstairs in hope of catching Barbara at work.

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Caroline Morgan got up relatively early in order to see Bobbie before she left for work. Caroline knew how hurt Bobbie was over Stefan's lies. She thought back yesterday to the talk with Lucky in the park, and the look of pain that Lucky could not hide, although he wanted to. The conversation had brought back Caroline's own pain at finding out she was adopted when she was 16. Her whole self-identity changed that day. She no longer knew who she was, and it took years to get that back. There was no doubt in her mind, that regardless of what Lucky decided to do, his self-identity would be changed forever. Caroline was thinking of Lucky when she arrived at the Brownstone door. Before she could even ring the doorbell, Stefan Cassadine opened the door.

----

Stefan Cassadine looked into the glaring eyes of Caroline Morgan, and knew that his day was not going to start out right. Over the past year, they had managed to form a bond of sorts. Caroline was wary of him. Which he wasn't surprised about, Caroline was too much like Luke for her own good.
"Good Afternoon, Caroline."
"Stefan." **She is definitely not happy.**
"Well I must get to the hospital." Stefan said trying to avoid a confrontation.
"Not so fast. I would like to know where you get off trying to play with people's lives."
"Is that not like, as you Americans say, the pot calling the kettle black?"
Caroline was a bit taken about. She knew that she had played with people's lives before.
"Maybe, but I didn't lie to my son for over 18 years. Are you aware of what you have done to him?"
"Caroline, I am sick of explaining my actions to everyone. I wanted to get to know my son. Why is that so horrible?"
Caroline could feel some of her anger drain away. "Do you have any idea how much you have hurt Lucky? I was lied to until I was 16, and then I wasn't sure I ever wanted to know my birth mother. I couldn't understand how she could just give me up. But at least the person who didn't want me, never treated me as you have him. You lied to him, and then decided to claim him when it suited your purposes."
Stefan turns away, pained. **Listening to Caroline, I can understand why Lucky would not trust me.**
"I know I hurt him. But when Lucky returned, it was like another chance with him. I could not just watch him from the distance I had been forced to watch him. I wanted to get to know him. I didn't want him to hate me anymore." Caroline was shocked at what Stefan had just admitted to her. They had never managed to have a relationship where they felt comfortable talking to one another. Caroline sat down on the steps. She was surprised when Stefan sat down next to her.
"Aren't you afraid you are going to ruin your suit?" Caroline asked smiling at Stefan sitting on the dirty steps with his black suit.
"I want to talk to you." Stefan said simply. Before Caroline could respond Stefan asked. "Do you ever wish that Virginia didn't tell you?"
"Sometimes. There were times when I hated her for telling me, I wanted to live in my fantasy world in which I knew that my mother wanted me. I was angry and confused for too long. But after I got to know Bobbie, I was glad. I got to know who I was. As I got to know Bobbie, I could see how much we were alike, and I learned more about myself."
"I don't know how to bridge the gap between us."
"You may not be able to, at least not for awhile." Stefan and Caroline sat in silence each of them thinking about what the other had said. Neither one, knowing exactly what to do about it.

//////

Lucky sighed and stretched out on the couch of the living room in the guesthouse. Despite the initial confrontation with Laura, the day had not been a total waste. Nikolas, Lulu, and Lucky had spent the day in the park. Lulu had managed what few people have been able to do. She was able to get him to simply relax and enjoy the day. However, it was now 3:00 in the afternoon and Lucky was feeling restless. They had dropped Lu off at the Spencer house an hour ago, and Nikolas went to work, which left Lucky to his own devices. It finally dawned on him, that he had absolutely nothing to do. Liz was working at L and B and wouldn't be home until later tonight. With Nikolas gone, and no job or school, (not that school was very interesting, it was however, time consuming), Lucky was bored. Bored was not something he wanted to be. Having nothing to do allowed his mind to wander, which recently was not a good thing. Lucky couldn't take the silence any longer, he got up off the couch and walked to the door of the guesthouse.
He opened the door and was surprised to see Alexis on the other side.
Alexis was just about to knock when Lucky opened the door.
"Hello Lucky."
"Hi, come in." Lucky stepped back to allow Alexis to enter, grateful for the distraction.
"If this is a bad time, I can come back." Alexis asked referring to the fact that he was obviously leaving when she arrived.
"No, in fact, I am grateful. I was bored, and can use the distraction. Is there something I can help you with?" Lucky looked at Alexis curiously, wondering why she was here.
"Actually I wanted to talk to you." Alexis said sitting down.
"If it's about what a wonderful person Stefan is, I don't want to hear it." Lucky said, immediately getting defensive. Lately when a person has said they wanted to talk to him, it's ended in some sort of confrontation, and frankly he was sick of it.
"This isn't about Stefan. I was wondering if you had decided what you were going to do now that you were back in Port Charles."
"I haven't the foggiest idea." Lucky said sitting down next to Alexis.
"That's what I figured. I might have a solution to your current situation. Do you have any ideas?"
"I know I want to go to college, other than that not much. Probably do something in Computer Science."
"I might have a job for you that will allow you to go to school."
"If it's a job for Cassadine Inc, no thank you. It's bad enough that I have no money, and am living off of Nikolas at the moment, I don't want my whole life centered around the Cassadines."
"I understand, believe me. I hated having to grow up on the island dependent on Helena and Stavaros for everything in my life. I tried to break from them as far as I could. I understand the need to be independent. That is why I became a lawyer, so that I wouldn't have to live under their rules forever. I talked to my husband, and he has agreed to give you a job at ELQ if you want it."
"I am listening." ELQ was not exactly a place he wanted to work, but at the moment he had no other options.
"Ned agreed, to hire you on the condition that you go to school at PCU. The company would pay for half your tuition, plus you would get a salary, and it would alsocover most of your insurance. The condition is, is that you have to work there for three years."
Lucky was definitely intrigued by the offer, but it seemed too good to be true. "I have to ask, what's in it for you? I mean you don't even know me. Why would you go to all this trouble for me?"
Alexis sighed, she was not surprised by Lucky's skeptism. In his place, she would have been asking the same questions.
"You are my nephew, whether you wish to be or not. I want to help you. I also know, that it would be easy to be sucked into the Cassadine family, and suddenly not have a life outside of the family. For years, my life revolved around what the Cassadine's wanted me to do. I don't want to see that happen to you. Don't get me wrong, I love my Brother, and Nikolas dearly, but they can be a tad controlling." When she saw Lucky smirk she added. "Ok, Stefan can be very controlling, but he usually has the best intentions concerning his family."
"You are close to Stefan, correct?" Lucky asked.
"Yes, we grew up together. I think I know him well, but there are times when I don't understand him." Alexis answered, not sure where he was going with this.
"Then maybe you can help me to understand, why he suddenly wants to be my father."
"This would be one of the times I don't understand him. I wish I could give you an answer that you would accept, but I can't. Did you ask him?"
"Yes, and he says it's because he feels like he's been given a second chance, or some crap like that." Alexis looked at Lucky thoughtfully. She wished that she could say something that would help Lucky to understand Stefan, but how could she do that, when she didn't understand him herself. "You don't believe him."
"Not completely. It doesn't add up. I mean for a man who is so protective of his nephew, why would he not want me to know that he is my biological father?" Lucky stands up and begins pacing as Alexis watched. **Was Helena unknowingly right about Stefan? Was it true that Stefan was more interested in the Cassadine legacy and Nikolas's rights to it? Than he was about his own son?**
"Lucky, I don't know what to tell you other than the fact that I believe that Stefan honestly wants to get to know you."
"Why now? Why now, after four years of knowing that he had a son?"
"Lucky, he didn't know you were alive for two of them."
"And that makes it ok? What about the two years before I was taken?" **He's right there is no good answer for that one.**
"You can't answer that can you? I mean the man is a control freak. He hates being out of control. He would control every aspect of Nikolas's and your life if he could. Why wouldn't he want to control me also? Let's forget the fact that he claims to care about my well being. There were many logistical reasons in the great Spencer-Cassadine war to claim me as his son. If my mother was his main goal, all he had to do was add one more stone to the fire and Dad would have lost all faith in her. He already began to doubt her after Nikolas was announced as her other son. Besides what better way to get back at someone for the death of your brother and father than turning the son of your worst enemy?"
"Perhaps, he didn't want to use you as a pawn."
"But he did." Alexis was about to respond to that when Lucky spoke again. "If he claims that he wants to get to know me, and that he wants me to see him as my father, then why wouldn't he want to protect me the same way he wanted to protect Nikolas? If he hated my Dad so much, why would he want his son to live with him?"
"Lucky, I wish I could give answers to your questions, but I can't. The only one who can answer that is Stefan. However if you ever need to talk, I am available."
"Thanks. But why would you want to help me?" **And why do I feel like I can trust you?**
"You're my nephew, you're a part of my family. I know you don't want to hear this, but I think you should talk to Stefan. Let him explain to you his reasons."
"I don't really think I want to know."
"Lucky, as angry as you are Stefan right now, he deserves to be able to tell you his reasons."
"He doesn't deserve anything from me! I want nothing to do with him."
"Maybe you don't feel he has a right to anything from you. Maybe you are right, but maybe you owe it to yourself to find out what his reasons were so that you can understand what happened. Do you really want to go the rest of your life thinking that your father didn't want you? Please think about it.
I have to go. Let me know what you decide about ELQ."
"Thank you, Alexis." Lucky watched Alexis leave and thought about what she had said. It made sense, but the problem was, was that he would never think of Stefan as his father. As confused as he was right now, he knew Luke would always be the man who was his father. He didn't know how to accept Stefan, he didn't know if he wanted to. He didn't even want to understand Stefan, to understand him would be to accept what Stefan has done to him as okay. It was so much easier to think of a Cassadine as bad and Spencers as bad. But then he found out about Luke's past with Laura, and his reality shifted a little. This led Lucky, to begin to be able to see Nikolas in a different light. Finding, out that Stefan was his biological father, shifted his reality even more. There could be no clear cut line, between good and bad, Spencers and Cassadines, because if there was, would that mean that he was bad too?