Chapter 26:

"Uncle." Nikolas coldly greeted Stefan. There were many emotions running through Nikolas, the most distinguishable and overshadowing was anger.
"Nikolas, how are you this morning?" Stefan asked with forced cheerfulness.
"Save it Uncle. I heard everything. Do you even care about what you have done to Lucky?"
"Nikolas-" **I don't want to lose him.**
"How could you?! Do you even care that he is this close to completely self- destructing? He has been lied to for the past two years. He was finally home and happy. So what do you do. ? You spring the fact that you're his father on him!"
"I didn't want to lose him." Stefan tried not to show his desperation. **He has to understand.**
"Lose him?!" You never even had him." **I don't understand him, he usually goes after what he wants. Why not go after Lucky years ago?***
"I want to get to know him." **Why is that so hard for everyone to understand.**
Nikolas sighed. "When did you find out that he was your son?"
"When Lulu got sick. I looked at the records." Nikolas was shocked. He has known for over 5 years."
"You used my sister's sickness to further your own goals?"
"That is not true, I knew there was a chance that Lucky could be mine so I looked."
"Why now? Why after telling me to hate him do you now want to be one big happy family. You told me he was a Spencer, not to be trusted. All the while knowing that he was your son! A Cassadine!"
"I was wrong, I was trying to protect you."
Nikolas stops at this. Stefan had chosen him over his own son. Like he had believed Laura had chosen Lucky over him.
Nikolas sighed. "So you were wrong. That doesn't change anything now. It doesn't change the fact that you lied to your own son, your wife, and me. I noticed Bobbie didn't stick around last night. It looks like you have your work cut out for you." With that Nikolas turned to leave but paused. "You never really answered my question why now?"
Stefan could not keep the need for understanding out of his words. "When I thought he was dead I realized that I never had a chance to get to know him. I had to grieve in silence, because how could I explain to anyone that I had just lost my son? When he came back it was a second chance. I needed to get to know him." Stefan paused the sadness and longing evident in his eyes. "And I hate the fact that he will always see Luke as his father. Luke has taken my brother and father away from me, I will not allow him deprive me of my son!" Nikolas is disgusted by what Stefan has just said. "Don't you think that Lucky and I have been used as pawns in the Spencer/Cassadine feud long enough!! That's all this was wasn't it? A chance to hurt Luke. Do you even care that you have hurt your son?"
"Nikolas, I didn't do it to hurt Lucky! He has a right to the truth!!"
"Right now I don't even want to look at you. I don't understand how you could use your son like that." Nikolas turned and walked away fighting the tears that were threatening to fall. Nikolas never knew Stefan could be so cruel. He paused when he got to the door.
"I just have one question. How could you chose me over your own son? Was it the fact that I was the heir?" Nikolas doesn't wait for an answer he turns and leaves.
"Nikolas I have always loved you." Stefan whispers and rubs his eye shocked to find that tears were falling. **Have I lost you too? I refuse to accept that.**

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Yesterday Laura Spencer was happily making dinner for Lucky for the first time in over two years. Tonight she was just making dinner for herself and Lulu. She had absolutely no clue where Lucky was, but she suspected Luke was at the club. The lies had finally torn her family apart, and she didn't know how to put it back together.
"Mommy?" Six year old, Lulu said walking into the kitchen.
"Yes, Lulu?"
"Where is Lucky?" I haven't seen him since we visited Niki on Spoon Island."
Laura wasn't sure how to answer.
"I am not sure Lu. He needed to think some things over Lulu."
"Why?" **Because I lied to him once again. He will never look at me with the love he once did.**
"Well since he's been gone a lot has changed, and he has to get used to it all again."
"He's not going to leave forever again, will he?" Laura pulled Lulu on to her lap, holding her what seemed to be left of her family close to her.
"No, sweetie. He'll come back home." **God I hope that's true.**

%%%%%%

Lucky was closer to self-destruction than even Nikolas knew. He was sitting in Luke's office at the club staring at a bottle of whiskey. He stared at it wondering what it would be like to feel nothing and not care. And not care that the father he loved probably hated him, and the father that was his by blood he didn't trust. He didn't even want to think about his mother.
"Don't do it Lucky." Lucky was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice the door open and Luke walk in.
"Why not? It doesn't matter anymore." Luke was startled at the statement. Luke took a close look at the son he had loved since the day Lucky was born. He was furious at the havoc Laura has caused in his son's life. He had finally gotten his son back after two long years of thinking he was dead. There were so many nights that he had turned to the alcohol trying to make the pain go away. When Lucky walked through that door for the first time three nights ago it was like all the pain disappeared. He didn't want his son to turn to the bottle like he had.
"You don't want to get drunk it won't help, trust me I know."
"Why do you care? You're not my father." Lucky says this with out emotion. In fact he hasn't shown an emotion yet. Luke looks as if he was struck. **I have to make him see that I will always be his father.**
"Cowboy, listen…." Hearing Luke call him Cowboy and telling him to listen makes something snap in him. He picks up the whiskey bottle and throws into the wall enjoying the sound of the bottle breaking.
"I am sick of everyone telling me to listen and telling me to understand. Well I don't understand. I don't understand how my mother could lie to me since I was born!!" Lucky's voice shakes with an anger that he hasn't let himself feel.
"Lucky-" Lucky didn't want to listen to anyone.
"What are you going to defend her now, because I really don't want to hear it. Does she hate me so much that she would lie to me since the day I was born." Lucky pauses for a moment. Luke is startled at the devastation and anger in Lucky's voice. Luke watches as the look on Lucky's face turns from anger to vulnerable. "Do you hate me now that I am a Cassadine?"


Chapter 27:

"Do you hate me now that I am a Cassadine?" Luke stares at Lucky completely blown away by the question. Luke had never even considered that Lucky would think that he could hate him.
"Lucky, listen to me, I could never hate you. How could you even think that?" **How can I not?** Lucky thinks to himself. Lucky doesn't respond, he just stares silently at his father and lets a tear slide down his face. Taking one look at Lucky, Luke knew that Lucky desperately needed some reassurance from him. "Lucky I could never hate you. I don't care what Count Vlad or anyone else has to say. You are my son.
I have loved you since the day you were born." **How can I make him understand that no one will take him from me?** Lucky looks doubtfully at Luke.
"How can I believe you when everything I have believed in was a lie? How can you say you love me when I am a Cassadine? You hated Nikolas from the moment he stepped in Port Charles, because he was a Cassadine. How could you hate him even though he saved Lulu? How am I any different than Nikolas." **How can he love me?** Luke doesn't know how to get through to him.
"Lucky, listen to me. You are the best thing that I have ever done. I may not be your biological father, but I raised you, and I am proud of you. And I love you. I was so afraid that you would hate me when I saw you with Helena. I was crushed when you died, and I thank God, if there is one, that you are alive." **Dad never admits to being scared of anything. Could he mean it?** Luke looks at Lucky and sees that Lucky is starting to believe him, as more tears are shed from father and son. "Cowboy…Look at me. You are my son, and I couldn't ask for a better one.." Lucky loses it right there. The control that he has barely hung on to finally vanishes, and in his father's arms he cries like he hasn't since he was a child. He finally received the reassurance he needed from the one person who mattered. His father.
Luke just held on to Lucky enjoying the fact that he was finally able to hold his son in his arms. Luke doesn't want to let go for fear of losing Lucky to Stefan. **That will never happen if I have anything to do about it. But what if I can't avoid it? What if he decides that I am not good enough for him? I don't want to lose him.**

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Alexis Davis-Ashton walks angrily into Wyndemere. She could not believe that Stefan would not tell her something so important. The fact that she had heard it from Bobbie does not help matters. She does not wait to be announced by Mrs. Landsbury, but barges right into the study where Stefan is reading the day's business reports. "How dare you, Stefan?" Stefan looks up, startled to see his sister staring angrily at him. **What did I do now?**
"How dare I what?" Stefan asks confused.
"Don't play dumb with me. You failed to mention to me that you had a son, Luke Spencer's at that." Stefan bristles when he hears Lucky referred to as Luke Spencer's.
"He is not Spencer's son. Lucky is mine and I intend to get to known him."
**Why is that so hard to understand?**
"You make him sound like an object. Listen to yourself. He is mine not his. Lucky is a human being who undoubtably is very confused at the moment."
"Which is why I have to act now if I want any chance with him."
"You can't try to win him Stefan, it won't work. You have to let him make the choices. Other wise you are going to push him farther away."
**If you haven't done so already?** Alexis thinks to herself.
"What do you suggest I do?"
"Stefan, I love you, but I don't know. You made your bed now you have to lie in it." With that Alexis turns and walks out. **Is everyone against me? All I want to do is get to know him.** Stefan wonders to himself.

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Lucky woke up in his father's office, emotionally exhausted after crying himself to sleep. It was early afternoon when he finally awoke.
He looked around and didn't see his father anywhere. **Dad must of decided to let me sleep.** There was no question after last night who his father was. He felt wanted and secure in his relationship with Luke. A weight had been lifted from his shoulders, he felt better than he had since he found out the truth from Stefan. He no longer felt like a Cassadine cast off, but Luke Spencer's son.

He got up and noticed that his father had gotten some clothes for him. So he got up showered and changed. And decided to go see Liz. He wasn't sure that she would want to see him after the way he treated her, but he hoped that she wasn't too mad. He climbed up onto the roof outside her window. Smiling at the memories. He looked in and noticed that Liz was reading. **I hope she doesn't decide to push me off the roof** he thought to himself as he tapped on the window.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Liz was reading when she heard a tap on her window. **Lucky** she knew instinctively. Liz walked over to the window smiling. She opened the window and let him in. He didn't say anything, scared that she would change his mind.
"Hi," Liz said awkwardly not exactly sure how to act around him.
"Hey, I am sorry about how I acted after I crashed."
"I am just glad you're alive. What possessed you to steal the car?"
"I needed to release some steam, and I wanted to do something destructive. I really didn't care what it was."
"I guess I understand that. How are you?"
"Ok, I guess. I don't have to overwhelming desire to do something crazy."
Lucky sits down on the bed and Liz follows.
"That's good. Did you talk to your father?"
"Which one?" Lucky laughs without humor.
"Luke." Lucky thinks about the night before and a smile appears.
"Yeah. I think my greatest fear was that he would hate me now. I didn't know how to deal with that. But after talking to him last night, I feel a lot better now."
"That's good. I told you that no matter what he would love you."
"Well I should have known to trust you huh?"
"Always."


Chapter 28:

"Hey Barbara Jean, are you here?" Luke called walking into the brownstone.
"Luke do you have to yell? Lucas is trying to get some sleep." Bobbie says as she walks down the steps.
"Sorry, I just needed to talk to my baby sister." Bobbie took a closer look at Luke he looked tired.
"How are you doing Luke?"
"I am hanging in there. Lucky and I had a long conversation last night. I finally feel like I have my son back." Luke smiles slightly thinking about last night.
"Luke I am happy for you." Luke sighed he really needed to get this off his chest.
"The funny thing is-is that I feel like I don't know him." Bobbie looked at him startled. **Luke not knowing who Lucky is impossible**
"Luke he's your son. He will always be your son."
"What if he decides he wants to be a Cassadine? Who knows what Helena has done to him? I keep waiting for him to turn against me." **What if he decides that I am not good enough for him? What if he decides that the man that raped his mother is not worth loving? What if he starts to believe the lies that Helena must of told him?**
**How can he say this?** Bobbie thought angrily.
"Luke he would never do that."
"He willingly worked for Helena didn't he?"
"He was hurt, angry, and confused!! He had found your darkest secret, and he didn't know how to deal with it. I am not saying that what he did was right, but I don't believe that he could do it again."
"But what if he decides to help Stefan."
"Help him do what? Come on Luke. Lucky loves you."
"I don't know, what if Stefan turns him against me?"
"Luke, I love you, but you are being paranoid. It's going to take a lot for Lucky to ever think about trusting Stefan. You are the man that he will always call Dad."
"Maybe, but he has the same blood as the Cassadines." Bobbie is shocked by what he is saying.
"So what do you think he is going to freeze the world now? Come on Luke you know him better than that. He's a good kid. I can't believe I have to tell you this."
"What if he becomes like Stefan?" **What if he always looks at me with the same disgust that Stefan does? What if he starts to act like I am a leach that he can not be bothered with? What if he doesn't want to know me anymore? I lost him once I can't do it again."

@@@@@@@@@@@@

Lucky could not listen anymore. He ran silently out of the Brownstone. He had walked in right after his father. He was about to make his presence known when he heard Luke talk about him to Bobbie. Luke's words ran through his head. "…. Worked for Helena" "What if he decides he wants to be a Cassadine?"
"I don't know him." "Has the same blood as the Cassadines." Lucky couldn't believe it. Last night was a lie. **He doesn't really love me. How can he love a Cassadine? How can anyone say they love me? Everyone who has, has ended up lying to me?**

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"Luke he's your son. You raised him." **Why do I have to tell you this?**
"Bobbie, I am just scared of losing him. Last night he was so broken. The lies have torn him down so much. I don't know what to do."
**What if I lose him, because of the lies?** Bobbie sighed.
"He's your son. Be his father. Help him."

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Lucky just ran. He had no clue where he was going and he didn't even notice as the rain fell. He couldn't believe that his father felt that way. Everyone he has ever considered his family has lied to him, well almost everyone. **Why does everyone continue to lie to me? Am I that worthless? Are they trying to hurt me? Don't they know that when the lies come out everything feels worse? Am I that horrible? How could Dad tell me he loved me, and that I was his son, no matter who my biological father is, and then tell Bobbie that he was afraid that I would turn into Stefan.**

Lucky found himself on the porch of the guesthouse on Spoon Island. He knocked loudly hoping that Nikolas was home.

Woken from his sleep Nikolas got up and went downstairs to find out who it was. He looked out the window and was startled to find a wet and devastated Lucky.

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Helena was in the study thinking about her next plan to destroy Luke Spencer, and his son. When she hears a knock at the door.
"Come in Ari."
"Madam, Lucky was seen arriving on Spoon Island apparently to see Nikolas."
"Thank you, Ari." Ari leaves.
**So young Spencer and Nikolas have bonded? Interesting.**


Chapter 29:

Silently Nikolas let a soaken wet Lucky into the guesthouse. He was shocked to see him, especially at this time of night.
"What happened?" **It must have been bad if Lucky showed up here in the middle of the night.**
"I had a strong dose of reality, and I didn't know where else to go. If you want me to leave I will." **Please don't make me leave.** Lucky looked around and noticed that although, it was on Spoon Island the guesthouse did not have the same gothic quality. **I hope that means that Stefan will think that it is too light for him to pop up.**
"You're welcome here at anytime. Please tell me what happened."
"I can't…not now…I am not even sure myself." **Don't push this Nikolas.**
Lucky looked like any second he was going to fall apart. Lucky is still looking around. Nikolas notices this.
"Stefan isn't going to show up you know."
Lucky is surprised that Nikolas knew what he was thinking. "Good I don't want to deal with him tonight."
"Lucky let me help you."
"You are Nikolas, I really appreciate you letting me stay here. But if you don't mind, I would really like to go to sleep."
Nikolas looked at Lucky wondering what had just happened. Last time he had seen him Lucky was cold and distant, but now Lucky looked desperate and alone. Nikolas didn't know what to do.
"Follow me." Lucky sighed with relief. **He isn't going to push it.**

*******

Lucky lay in bed, trying to go to sleep, but sleep just wouldn't come. Luke and Bobbie's conversation just kept replaying over and over in his mind. The harder he tried not to think about it, the faster they came. Finally, Lucky couldn't take it anymore and let the tears fall freely.
Finally Lucky fell asleep. However, it was not peaceful.

Slap. "You are worthless. Why you are even alive is beyond me. I can't understand why Nikolas has allowed you to live. You are nothing."
"I am sorry Grandmother, it won't happen again." "How many times must I tell you not to call me Grandmother. You are not important."
"Sorry Mrs. Cassadine."
"You had better be, Lucas. There is only so much I can put up with even for Nikolas."
"Yes, Mrs. Cassadine."
"Remember the only reason you have anything is because despite the fact that you are Stefan's son, you are still a Cassadine. And you must always act like one." With that Helena left the room.
Lucky reached up to rub where Helena had slapped him. He looked at surroundings and recognized it as the island in Greece. Lucky left to go outside when he was stopped by Nikolas.
"Where do you think you were going?"
"Just outside."
"You know you aren't allowed to do anything with out my permission."
"I know Nikolas, but you weren't around."
"So you just decided that it would be a good idea to just leave."
"Nikolas it's an island I can't go anywhere."
"Lucas, I'd watch it if I were you. You are hanging on by a thread. You are only alive, because I told Grandmother that you were important. Don't make me regret it."
"Yes, sir." Nikolas leaves and Lucky looks up to see Stefan watching them.
"Father."
Stefan doesn't say anything.
"Are you just going to let him threaten to have me killed."
Again silence.
"Father listen to me. I am your son, not Nikolas, shouldn't you care about me?"
Stefan says nothing.
"Fine, I forgot he's the heir, and I am just your son."
Stefan stared past Lucky as if he wasn't even there. "I have always wished that Nikolas was my son." Stefan leaves.
"Why am I not good enough? And why does it bother me?"
Lucky feels tears slide down his face. Suddenly the scenery changes and he's on Spoon Island on the parapet. Looking into the eyes of Luke Spencer.
"Dad, Help me. No one cares about me." Lucky reaches out to Luke, but trips over the side and manages to hold on to the side of the parapet.
"Dad help me." Lucky pleads again as he tries to lift his hand to grab onto Luke.
"I am not your father. You are a Cassadine. I can not love you. You are just like them. It's in your blood." Luke reaches for Lucky's hand and pulls him up so that he is the only thing keeping Lucky from falling. Lucky relaxes a minute thinking for a second that despite Luke's words does care about him.
"You are not my son. You actually thought I would help you. You survived falling once, let's see if you can do it again." Luke lets go and laughs.
Lucky screams. "AHHHH"

AHHHHHHHHH Lucky wakes up screaming. Nikolas runs into the room.


Chapter 30:

 

Lucky sat up in bed, screaming.
Nikolas ran into the room, expecting to see someone in the room with Lucky. He was surprised to see him sitting up in bed, sweating and out of breath.
"Lucky, what happened?" Lucky didn't seem to hear him. He was still trying to escape the images from the dream.
"Lucky!" Nikolas felt himself begin to panic looking at Lucky's expressionless face. Startled, Lucky looked up at Nikolas and slid towards the headboard of the bed, still reeling from the dream.
Nikolas stepped closer, surprised when Lucky backed away from him.
"Lucky, it's ok." Lucky started to calm down, realizing that he wasn't dreaming anymore. He looked at Nikolas and noticed that he must have woken Nikolas up, because he was only wearing boxers and a T-shirt.
"Sorry I woke you up." Lucky said apologetically.
"Don't worry about it. Are you ok?" Nikolas said sitting down in the chair by the bed.
"Yeah." **No, my life is falling apart.**
Nikolas knew Lucky was lying. "Lucky you are not okay. You haven't been okay since Stefan told you that he is your biological father, and you definitely were not okay when you arrived here tonight."
**Why does he care? My own father, who ever that is, doesn't care.** "Why do you care?"
"You're my brother and I want to help." **How can I believe Nikolas?**
"You can't help me."
"Lucky, talk to me. What is going on in your head?" Nikolas asked as he watched Lucky fiddle with the comforter.
"Where do you want me to start? Cause I don't know anything anymore."
"Start with the dream." Nikolas could not imagine what had shaken Lucky up so badly that he would come to Wyndemere in the middle of the night soaking wet, and then have a dream so hideous that he had woken up screaming.
"The dream. Well, as you could probably guess, it was not the best one I have ever had." **It was definitely one of the worst.**
"That's obvious. You woke up screaming. Please, tell me about it."

#################

"Dad, help me." Lucky pleads again as he tries to lift his hand to grab onto Luke.
"I am not your father. You are a Cassadine. I can not love you. You are just like them. It's in your blood." "You are not my son. You actually thought I would help you. You survived falling once, let's see if you can do it again." Luke lets go and laughs

####################

Lucky laid down again, trying to fight the tears and anger that the dream still caused. He closed his eyes, attempting to erase Luke from his mind.
"Lucky?" Lucky opened his eyes but refused to look at Nikolas, instead he stared at the ceiling.
"Huh…oh right the dream. I was back in Greece. It was different though. You and Stefan were there too. Helena had just slapped me and threatened to have me killed. This time it…"
"This time?" **Helena had hit him before? What happened on the island.**
"Yeah. She slapped me when I was working for her. She thought I had planted bugs in her yacht. Anyway, last time she hated me, because I was Luke Spencer's son. Now she hated me, because I was Stefan's. She told me the only reason I was alive, was because of you." Lucky looks blankly at the ceiling, while telling the dream with out emotion trying to fight the feeling of worthlessness and helplessness the dream evoked.
"Me?" Nikolas asked surprised.
"Yeah, apparently you didn't want me dead. But you made sure I knew my place on the island. Stefan watched you threatening me. He ignored me. Told me he wished you were his son and left." Nikolas silently wondered if that was true. He felt bad even though it was just a dream that Lucky could envision him being that cold, even in a dream.
**Did Stefan want me and not Lucky? Is that why he stayed silent? Or was it simply because I am the heir that he took care of me, and protected me from Helena? I still don't understand how he could ignore the fact that Lucky was his son. Especially after what Laura did to me. Will Stefan forget about me now that he wants Lucky? Stefan is the only father I have ever had, but he's only my uncle. He's Lucky's father.**
The brothers remained quiet each lost in their own thoughts.
**Why wouldn't Stefan want me? Was I really that worthless to him? If Stefan hated Luke so much, why would he not tell me the truth? And did he just tell me, because he wanted to hurt Luke?**
Luke. Lucky closed his eyes trying to block the memories. But more images came. Images that he didn't want to remember, didn't want to think about. "After that I don't remember." **Did Luke mean it when he said that he's scared that I'll become like the other Cassadines?**
Nikolas didn't believe him, he knew there was more to the dream. What Lucky just told him wasn't enough to make him scream. Nikolas knew that Lucky would not tell him more though. He didn't know what to say. So he remained silent and placed his hand on Lucky's shoulder.
He was surprised when Lucky spoke again.
"Why do you think Stefan decided to tell me now that he was my father?" "I don't know Lucky. I've been thinking about it myself."
"Yeah, but Nikolas, you've known him your whole life. You must have some idea."
"I don't know Lucky. He claims he wants to get to know you. He wants the chance to be a father to you." **Lucky doesn't need to know that he also wants him away from Luke.**
"Why now? It still doesn't make sense." **Stefan always has a plan, what's his plan for me?**
"Lucky, I can't give you a better answer. Stefan swore he would never lie to me, and he always told me to protect your family. I can't understand why he would not fight for you earlier."
"I guess I wasn't that important to him." **Just like I am not that important to Luke now that I know who my biological father is.**
"Lucky, I have lived with Stefan for my whole life, and I still don't understand the man. I do, however think that he is sincere when he says he wants to get to know you." **I hope so for Lucky's sake that he is not just a pawn in some sick game.**
"I don't know how much more I can take. I feel like I don't know anything anymore. I just want the lies to stop." Lucky finally lets the tears that were welling up fall silently down.
"I know Lucky. So do I." He silently sat next to Lucky and wondered what the future would hold for both of them.