If You Ever Go

By: Jule Anders

It was Valentine's Day.  A whole year since the rape happened.  Lucky, Emily and Nikolas were at the Webber's house watching movies. Emily
and Nikolas sat close together, as Sarah watched angrily from the other side of the room. Liz and Lucky sat on the middle couch, and there was
tension because of the events of last year.  They were watching TITANIC, at Sarah's request, even though Elizabeth couldn't stand the movie.
They were at the part when Kate and Leo went to the party.  Liz looked at Sarah who was totally into the movie... as well as watching Emily and
Nikolas like a hawk.  She glanced over at Nikolas and Emily who were awfully close to one another, and then the room seemed to close in on her,
and she began to feel hot.  Liz leaped from her seat on the couch, and ran up to her room.

"Elizabeth!"  Lucky called after her.

He had felt her tension earlier, but watching her run suddenly, surprised him.  He ran up after her, and found her lying, curled up to one side of her bed.
He sat down next to her and she immediately shifted in the bed, and laid her head down on his lap.

Lucky soothed her hair and said, "I'm sorry."

Liz lifted her head, "Why?"

"Because.  You're hurting, and I can't fix it."

"Lucky, you out of all people shouldn't be the one apologizing.  But if you want?  You're forgiven."

"Thanks."  he said.

He held her tightly, comforting her.  After a long period of silence, Elizabeth suddenly asked him,

"Do you love me?"

Lucky was surprised by her sudden question,

"Elizabeth.... what...."

"Well, do you?"

Lucky stuttered a bit, "I... I....."

He saw the hurt rise in her eyes,

"Never mind Lucky."  Liz said getting out of his arms.

"Elizabeth---"

Just then Sarah walked into the room,

"Liz, I need you to but some drinks.   We're all out."  Sarah said thumbing through her wallet.

"Why won't you go?"  Liz asked back.

"Have you seen the way Nikolas and Emily are?   I do not want to leave them alone."

"That's......"  Liz sighed a bit, putting her hand to her forehead, "Fine.  Give me the money, I need some air anyway."  Liz said.

Sarah handed her the money.  Liz grabbed her coat and went outside, and started walking to the nearest convenient store, Lucky
walked after her.

"We need to talk about this."  Lucky said catching up with her.

Liz breathed in the cold air.

"Not now."  she replied wrapping her arms around herself,

"Elizabeth."  he said grabbing her arm, making her turn to face him.

"Okay, you wanna talk?  Talk."   Liz told him shaking off his hand.

Lucky froze suddenly.  His mind went blank.

Liz breathed out the cold air.

She turned around, and went inside the store.   Lucky could have kicked himself for what he had done.  He let out a sigh, and went
inside too.  He found Liz at the soda section, trying to decide which one bottle to buy.  As she reached for a bottle, Lucky reached
for the same one.  Their hands brushed, and Elizabeth immediately pulled her hand back in.  Lucky hated watching Liz do this to herself.

"Here."  she said handing him the money, "You choose.  I'll wait outside."  she told him, then turned around.
The bells on the door echoed in Lucky's mind as he watched her walk away.
 
 
 

It was freezing outside, but Liz didn't notice.   Even though she was shivering, walking down the street.  She didn't feel like going home
and watching Sarah hate Nikolas and Emily and Lucky trying to explain himself.

"I shouldn't have asked him.  I just ruined everything."  she thought to herself.

She tried thinking of other places to go, but really, she had no place to go.  Except for the Spencer's house.  No one would really
think that she would go there, not even Lucky.  He currently lived with Jason at Brenda's old cottage.  So she decided to head over
there.  it was dark outside, and the stars covered the sky beautifully.  It seemed so perfect for any couple on Valentine's Day to gaze
up at.

"Elizabeth!  Oh, G*d..... I thought..... I thought..... What are you doing here?"  Lucky asked running up to her, and pointing to his old
house.

"Because.  You wouldn't think to find me here."

"No, this... this would have been the first place I'd look, because I'd know you'd think it would be the last."

"Why are you here?"  Liz asked him, stepping back from his closeness.

"Elizabeth, when you walked out of that store..... I felt as though you were walking out of my life and I realized I couldn't take it.  I
can't have you leave me."

"It doesn't change anything."

"Yes it does.  It changes everything, Elizabeth.  The way I feel, the way I think.  Everything is you...  You are everything."  he said
reaching out to touch her cheek.

Elizabeth pulled back from his touch,

"Stop doing this to yourself."  Lucky told her.

"Doing what?"

"Blaming yourself for this situation."

"Aren't I to blame?  I brought this whole thing up.  I shouldn't have."

"No.  You had every right to bring this up.  You're in this as much as I am."

"Lucky, I---"

"Elizabeth... If you ever go... if you ever leave me, I don't know if or how I will recover.  And I won't let you.  I won't let you walk out of my
life without a good fight, because Elizabeth you're worth it.  You're worth everything.  I'd do anything for you."

"But you don't love me."  she said through her tears.

"No.  I love you with all of my heart.   You make me whole, you complete me.  And I stuttered back there, because... well, have you ever
heard of a sixteen year old in love?  For people our age, it's not real, but with you.... we're soul mates Elizabeth, we were meant for
each other, and we just found each other at an early age."

"It just hurts a lot.  I asked you so suddenly, and you're right.  I won't take it back, for anything, because I realized.   And it scares me.
  How I could lose you in a mere minute of a day, and you might never come back to me, and we might never be the same again."

"No, we're even better."  he told her taking her hand.  He dropped the grocery bag in his hand to the ground, and pulled Liz into a kiss.
  After Elizabeth recovered from her shockness, she kissed him back.  At first it was soft and sweet, then it became so intense that
Liz had to pull away.  She leaned her head on his shoulder, as he said,

"Say you love me, Elizabeth, and you'll never leave me.  you'll never go."

"I love you Lucky, and I promise you I'll love you forever and I'll never go."  she replied softly.

**********************

Lucky and Liz sat on the bench of his old porch.   She sat curled up next to him, leaning her head on his chest as he stroked her hair,
and played with her fingers, with his free hand.  He kissed the top of her head, and together, they gazed at the stars.
 

How do I,
Get through one night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
And I
I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
You're my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,

And tell me now
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

Without you,
There'd be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There'd be no world left for me.
And I,
Baby I don't know what I would do,
I'd be lost if I lost you,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,

And tell me now,
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Please tell me baby,
How do I go on?
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything,
I need you with me,
Baby don't you know that you're everything,
Real in my life?
And tell me now,
How do I live without you,
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
How do I live without you?
How do I live without you baby?

(song by LeAnn Rimes/ Trisha Yearwood)
 
 

THE END

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