Do What You Have To Do

By Jule Anders

What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage
created you a monster
broken by the rule of law

 
 

"I can't believe you did that Sarah? How could you?"

"Lizzie! I didn't mean to get drunk!"

"Sarah, you're smart, at parties like those, they're bound the have alcohol. I still can't believe you. Do you know what mom and
dad are doing?"

"Yeah, they told me...at least you'll have me."

Liz let out a scream of frustration, and slammed down the phone, hanging up on Sarah. She looked up at the door at saw
Lucky.

"You're, uh, grandmother let me in, is this a bad time? I haven't seen you in days."

"I had a slight problem." she said as she sat on her bed.

"Yeah?" he said prepared for the news.

"Sarah went to a party one night. She was out really late, and my parents were really worried and scared. Well, she came home
drunk, and My parents were mad, beacause, you know, something could've happened to her. Anyway, after Sarah was yelled
at she told them she wasn't like me, and told them what happened to me."

".. Have they done anything about it?"

"Yeah, they've...uh, arranged for me to fly there before school starts, and stay there for a year, so they can heal me or
something."

"You're leaving me?"

And fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do
and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do

"You're leaving me?" he said again.

She looked away and nodded.

Lucky paced around the room, then said,

"I, uh, have to go... I gotta go."

"Wait, Lucky!" she called after him. She ran out of the house, in search of him.

"Lucky!" she called, then headed to the park, knowing he would be there.

Lucky stopped running and thought about what Liz had said.

"You can't leave me, Elizabeth, I need you." he said outloud. She was always there when he needed her the most, especially
when it was about his parents.

"Lucky!" he heard Elizabeth call, "Lucky!"

Elizabeth stood in the middle of a landing, close to a bench, and called out to Lucky over and over and over again. She
suddenly remembered where she was, and now that she was alone, she was afraid. Just then a hand clamped over her mouth
and she heard a voice, "If first time was good, why not go for a second?"

When Liz's calls stopped, Lucky began to worry,

"She doesn't quit that soon." He said then realized she could be in trouble. He ran all over the park in search for Liz and spotted
her and a man in black.

"No, no." Lucky said when he saw what the man was doing.

"Elizabeth!" he called. The man in the ski mask looked up, then realizing he could get caught, he threw Elizabeth head on to the
bench and ran

And I had the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go

Lucky rolled Liz and lifted her head. Her forehead was cut, and was badly bleeding.

"Lucky, help me." she said faintly.

"I'm here, don't worry." he said, "I gotta get you to the hospital, can you walk?"

Liz closed her eyes and nodded.

Lucky wrapped his coat around her and helped her get up. Together they went to the hospital. Elizabeth fainted, shortly after
they arrived, and the doctors took her in.

"Lucky! What are you doing here?"

It was his aunt Bobbie.

"I brought Elizabeth here, she was attacked again."

"Oh G*d! Is she okay?"

"I hope so."

An hour later, the doctor came out and said, "Elizabeth suffered a few concussions, but she'll be fine. You can go see her."
Lucky nodded and entered her private room.

"Hey, how're you feeling?"

"Truthfully? Like a building dropped on my head. How are you?"

"Me? Elizabeth, I'm more worried about you. You're the one who's lying on the hospital bed."

"Yeah, well, you didn't take the news too great."

"I'm so sorry, it's all my fault you're here. I shouldn't of run out on you like that."

"No, Lucky, this is not your fault. He could of done it again, he could have raped me, but you didn't let him. You saved me."
she said reaching for his hand.

"And I'll save you again in a heartbeat." he told her touching the bandage on her head.

"Are you okay? I mean, emotionally?"

Every moment marked
With apparations of your soul
I'm ever swift and moving
trying to escape this desire

"I--" Liz started, but was interrupted by someone at the door.

"Gram."

"Elizabeth, are you all right darling?" she asked.

"I'll come back, okay?" Lucky told Liz. She nodded and painfully watched him leave.

"I'm okay Gram, I'm okay." Liz assured her grandmother.

Lucky walked out the door to find Laura and LuLu.

"Elizabeth.... is she all right?"

"She's in with her grandmother." he said.

"Take LuLu for me, will you? I'm gonna go see her."

He nodded as she handed him LuLu.

"Hey sweetie." Lucky said, "You having a good day today?"

She shook her head.

"No? Well, I'm not either." he said sitting down. He put LuLu down on his lap, and told her all of his problems.

"You remember Elizabeth, don't you? She came to your party? " She nodded.

"Well, her sister told her parents something Elizabeth didn't want them to know, and now they're making her go back to live
with them.... I'll miss her a lot, 'cause she's my best friend. More than that... I think I'm falling in love with her." He told LuLu.

"You look tired sweetie, didn't you have your nap? It's late anyway, you gonna sleep?"

"I can take her now." a voice said. It was Laura.

"How much did you hear?" he asked handing LuLu over.

"Everything. Lucky, honey, you should tell her, before it's too late."

"I'm, uh, gonna go now, if you stick around, tell Elizabeth I said goodnight, and... never mind. Night LuLu." he said then left.

"Well, look at that." Laura whispered to LuLu,

"You're brother's in love."

The yearning to be near you
you do what you have to do
the yearning to be near you
you do what you have to do

Lucky laid awake in his boxcar.

"You don't know how much I need you, Elizabeth." he said out loud, then remembered the day he had seen his mother, and she
was there to talk to.
 

                ************************
 

"I was getting worried." she said.

"Yeah. I took the long way."

"You forgot something." she pointed out. He just looked at her as though she was talking another language.

"The bread and meat and stuff you were bringing from your dad's club."

"Oh. Couldn't get it. I'll have to go back after closing."

"That's ok. Oh, I saw your father at the hospital. He said he needs to see you. He said to say that it's a family emergency"

"Well, sorry dad. It's too late to put out that fire." He sighed and told her, "My mom's back. He's just afraid that I'd run into her
first--and I did."

"Oh. How'd it go? Was she happy to see you?"

"Yeah."

"Were you happy to see her?"

"She's my mother." he whispered back

                                    ************************

"So--what? Someone who was raped as a kid--that's all I can ever be?" she said sounding hurt and upset

"Elizabeth, no."

"What if your mother found a way out, a way not to be that anymore? Then I would want to know how."

"She married her rapist! How is that a way out?"

"Your not trying to see it the way they do!"

"You're right I'm not!"

                                    ************************

"Maybe you don't know me, maybe you just think you do!" he said.

Then Elizabeth, fed up, said, "Just stop. Stop this! Jeez, Lucky you slept on my floor, by my bed and you watched over me
while I was sleeping. It was like an Angel came to Earth to help me. I trust you with my life! Those voices in your head--I know
what those are. Those are the voices that told me that it was my fault that I got raped. But you wouldn't let them. And now I'm
going to do the same thing for you. Do you hear me? Do you?"

                                    ************************

"Elizabeth, I love you, don't you know that?" Lucky asked as he shook out of his memory, ".... you're my life."
 
 

And I had the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go

 

Elizabeth laid alone in her dark hospital room. Following Elizabeth's instructions, Audrey went home, as did Laura. She needed
Lucky. She knew he could make her smile again, but he had left.

"Stupid me. Lucky hates me because I'm leaving. Sarah, why did you have to get drunk? she asked out loud. Lucky had done
a million things for her, and now, she could lose him forever. She still remembered the day she had asked him to kiss her...

                                    ************************

"So how are things going with Dr. Baldwin?"

"Things are going slowly--very, very slowly. But she's nice. I like her. And wonder of wonders, I think I even trust her. I just
wish she'd say something besides 'Be patient. It's going to take time'."

"Well, she is a shrink, not a Faerie Godmother." he pointed out.

"Yeah, well, that's a shame. It'd be nice if she could just wave her little wand over me and everything would go away."

"Poof--you're healed." he replied pretending to wave a magic wand.

                                    ************************

"Elizabeth, why are you so hard on yourself? I mean you are doing great." he told her

"Well, it doesn't feel that way."

"Well, trust me. You are so much better now than when it first happened it's not even funny. You couldn't even get out of bed in
the morning. If someone looked at you sideways at Kelly's, you were ready to bolt."

"Well, I still feel like that."

"Yeah, but you get out of bed. You don't run away, do you? I mean, you got up in front of half of the town at the Nurses Ball."

"So I can sing and dance in front of people. I'm still a basket case. I can't even walk down the street by myself. I'm afraid of
being touched. I'm starting to think that it's impossible that I'll ever have a normal relationship, and I refuse to accept that.
"Elizabeth paused, then spoke again, "Will you help me?"

"You know I will. What can I do?"

"Kiss me."

                                    ************************

"Ok, let me make sure I got this right. You--you want to kiss me as an experiment to find out whether you can kiss someone
you really want to kiss?"

"That doesn't sound right when you say it like that." Liz replied.

"Well, I can think of worse things. If you're sure..."

"I am."

"Yeah?"

They awkwardly turn towards each other

"This is-- going to be a little tougher than-- a little trickier than I thought." he said.

"If you'd rather not, then--"

"No, no, no. Hey, hey, we can do this, right?"

"Right."

He slowly brushed her hair back from her face and then they both moved closer. Just before their lips touched,

Liz pulled away

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Elizabeth jumped up, "I've got to go." she said then rans off with Lucky running after her.

                                    ************************

Liz sighed at the memory.

"Elizabeth, honey, you should sleep." Bobbie told her sticking her head through the door frame. Liz nodded and closed her
eyes,

"I just miss you Lucky." she thought.
 

A glowing ember
burning hot and burning slow
deep within I'm shaken
by the violence of existing for only you

 

"I thought the doctors told you to stay off of your feet."

Elizabeth looked up, to see Lucky. It was a day after the hospital released her and she was now at the docks.

"I am off my feet. See? I'm sitting on a bench?"

"Off of your feet as in, staying in bed?"

"I'm fine Lucky, really." she said standing up.

Her head suddenly felt dizzy and her knees buckled.

Lucky caught her fall and sat her back down. He sat down with her.

"Got up too fast." Liz said, "I'm okay."

"Well you, you don't look like it..." he said softly staring at her.

"...Uh, when are you leaving?" he asked.

"This Saturday... two days."

"Are you sure you're okay to fly?"

"I'll be fine... I should be going back now. I've been here for a long time, and I have to go to Kelly's and pick up dinner since
Gram's not coming home until late."

"Care for an escort?"

"... Sure." she said getting up, "let's go."
 

I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do

 

It was Saturday. The day of Liz's departure Laura drove Elizabeth, Audrey and Lucky to the airport. Audrey sat in the
passenger seat, not saying anything. Lucky and Liz sat awkwardly in the back, occasionally stealing glances at one another. At
the airport, Liz was soon stuck with her good-byes. She went to Laura first and hugged her.

"Thank you for everything. I'm so grateful that you care. Kiss LuLu for me, and give this to Bobbie?" she handed Laura an
envelope.

"I'll miss you, just.. promise to write, and know that I'm here. Always." Liz nodded, and went over to her grandmother.

"Gram, thanks for everything. If you get lonely in that house, call me, okay? I'll entertain you with what mom and dad will put
me through."

"Don't worry darling, I made them say, that they'll give you space, and let you breathe."

"Thanks, oh, and Gram?"

"Yes?"

"When it gets cold? Let Lucky sleep in my room, okay?" Audrey nodded.

Liz smiled, then walked over to the tunnel leading to the plane, where Lucky was waiting for her.

"It'll only be for a year." she said.

"I know, but I'll still miss you."

"Me too." she replied as tears rolled down her cheeks. Lucky reached out his hand, and wiped the tears off her cheek. He
pulled her close to him, and kissed her forehead. She looked up, and through her tears, stared intently in to his eyes, as he
slowly caressed her cheek.

And their faces drew nearer and nearer.

Their lips finally met.
 

And I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
 

"I gotta go." Liz said pulling away, then walked away from him. Lucky closed his eyes, feeling tears of his own forming. He
turned around to leave, but he heard Liz call out to him,

"Lucky!"

He turned to her at the other end of the tunnel.

"I love you!" she told him.

Lucky smiled.

"I love you too!" he said, wiping the tears from his eyes, then let out a laugh.

Liz laughed too.

"Look in your bag!" he told her before she left.

"Look in yours!" she blew him a kiss, then disappeared.

He walked out of the tunnel, not realizing his mother and Audrey had witnessed the whole thing.

"Let's go." Audrey said

Lucky nodded.

Aboard the plane, Liz placed her bag on her lap, and in it, found a gold box. She opened it to see a gold angel on a gold chain.
She flipped the card and read:

"You're my angel, love always, Lucky."

Lucky sat in the back seat, and grabbed his bag from the ground. He opened it to find a box. He lifted the lid and found the
exact same present that he had given to Liz; A gold angel on a gold chain. He then read the card:

"No Lucky, you're mine, Love, Elizabeth."

I don't know how to let you go
 

THE END

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