Sitting in the kitchen, Emily contemplated seriously which kind of cereal she wanted to eat. For about ten minutes, she sat staring at the cereal boxes, feeling like it was the biggest decision of her life. Did she want chocolate-covered or fruity-flavored? Toasted O’s or multi-grain? Or did she just want to skip cereal altogether and have a cookie?

“I can’t take this,” Emily told herself, just short of completely losing her mind. She slammed the box of cereal she’d been holding down on the counter, not noticing that the opened box spilled frosted flakes all over the counter.

Emily was definitely losing her mind. She’d never had this much trouble choosing between cereal brands for a mid-afternoon snack before. Usually, munching on dry cereal in the middle of the day was a comfort food fix. Today she was just looking for a distraction--she hadn’t expected to have a nervous breakdown in the decision process.

Then again, she’d never had Lucky Spencer and Liz Webber deciding her romantic future, either. Yet right outside that kitchen door, they were talking and when Liz left, Emily’s fate would be sealed. Either Lucky would be taken, unavailable and therefore leaving Emily’s longing unrequited...or he’d be a free man desperately seeking her embrace.

Get real, Emily, she thought to herself. She picked up the cereal boxes, playing Eeenie-meani-miny-moe before settling on the chocolate crunchy kind. She could hear snatches of conversation, and once caught her name. Her heartbeat surged. Were they talking about her?

“...Weird...Em said...I thought...apologize...” Emily picked out Lucky’s words, but she could only hear the hum of Liz’s voice. It was too soft for her to hear as clearly. She wondered what exactly she said that Lucky was referring to.

Emily shoved a mouthful of cereal in her mouth, not caring that a few spilled onto the floor. Reginald will pick it up, she thought absently, brushing crumbs off her shirt. Suddenly she started, recalling where she was. And she bent down to pick up the crumbs, ashamed of her line of thinking. That was the Quartermaine way--not hers.

Emily straightened up, and realized that it was quiet. She rushed to the door, holding the box of cereal. She pressed her ear to the door, but still heard nothing. She wondered desperately what was going on in the other room. They couldn’t be--Emily held her breath and crossed her fingers that she couldn’t find them entangled in a passionate make-up embrace.

Luck was on her side. As Emily walked out of the kitchen, she found Lucky sitting in a desk chair and Liz leaning up against the wall. Liz looked serious; Lucky was smiling faintly. His hair was messed up, and Emily wondered briefly if it would make Liz jealous to smooth it out for him.

Emily stood against the back of the couch and gave a big, fake smile. “Hi, Liz,” She said. “Hi, Lucky. What’s up?” ‘Are you two back together? Did I interrupt your plans for a romantic evening? Why don’t you love me, Lucky?’ Emily smiled brightly as she thought of the questions she really wanted to ask.

“Nothing.” Lucky shifted on the chair and smiled at her. “Well, not nothing, exactly. Liz and I were just agreeing how great you are, Em.”

“Yeah?” Emily felt a dopey smile spread across her face, pleased at the thought of Lucky talking about her, suddenly hopeful that maybe they weren’t together. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Liz smiled weakly at her. “I told Lucky how you came to talk to me, and how you made me see that it was silly for me to worry so much about something that was already past.” She looked at Emily intently.

Emily nodded imperceptibly. Right then and there, she felt foolish for hating Liz so much. The girl was obviously nice, or she wouldn’t go out of her way to gloss up the image of the girl who’d just about wrecked her life.

“And I was saying how you always tried to cheer me up,” Lucky added helpfully. “I didn’t know you went to talk to her, Em. That was really great of you.”

“Oh, yeah, well...” Emily stuffed another handful of cereal into her mouth before she stuttered any more.

“Anyway, Liz and I are really grateful to you. I wondered if you wanted to see that movie we’d planned on going to...with Liz along, too.”

“Oh, sounds like fun,” Emily said, smiling brightly, wishing she believed it. Sitting in the back of a theater with Lucky had sounded thrilling and romantic the other day. Now, with the extra image of Liz holding the popcorn between them, it sounded a lot less promising. She thought quickly. “Unfortunately, I’m busy tonight.”

“Yeah?” Lucky asked. His face looked different all the sudden, less light-hearted, more distracted. “With who?”

Emily smiled, hoping it looked mysterious.

“Oooh, I bet it’s a guy,” Liz said, smiling. “Am I right?”

Emily’s eyes widened, but she kept smiling. She glanced at Lucky out of the corner of her eye. Was it her imagination, or did he suddenly look upset? Were his eyes a little darker than they had been, his smile more strained? She couldn’t tell.

“I have to get ready,” Emily said, deciding not to tell either of them anything about her mysterious plans. She’d prefer it if they pictured her off on a date somewhere, instead of going upstairs to call Monica. At least that way, they wouldn’t call her “poor Emily.”

And maybe, just by the teeniest possibility, a flicker of jealousy was evoked in Lucky’s head.

She crossed her fingers.

Chapter 19:

The phone rang just as Emily entered her room. She darted for it, figuring Lucky probably already had one foot out the door and wouldn’t want to be bothered. And Jason and Robin were out to dinner with Michael, and they’d told her whatever came through on the extra extension was okay to pick up on. That was the safe phone line, and not connected to the business.

Emily brought the phone to her ear just as she heard Lucky’s voice. “Hello?”

“Is Emily there?” A voice returned, just as Emily was about to hang up the phone. She grabbed for the phone before it hit the hook and gripped it against her ear. That wasn’t just any voice...that was a distinctly male voice!

“Prince Nikki, is that you?” Lucky demanded harshly.

Emily blinked. She hadn’t recognized it as Nikolas’ voice. Now that she thought about it, it was pretty obvious. Nikolas was probably the only guy in town that had her phone number, or a reason to call her up.

“What are you doing there?” Nikolas asked.

“None of your business,” Lucky snapped. “What are you doing calling Emily?”

“None of your business,” Nikolas countered.

There was a moment of tense silence. Emily cleared her throat in an exaggerated way. “Um...I’ve got it, Lucky.”

The phone was slammed down so hard it almost shattered Emily’s eardrums. She let hesitated a few minutes before saying anything. “Nikolas?”

“Yeah. I’m here.” Nikolas sounded like he was trying to get a grip on the situation. “Are you busy?”

Emily figured he thought Lucky was over visiting her, and he was interrupting. “No, I’m not busy,” She assured him.

“I, uh, had to talk to you about the other night,” Nikolas said awkwardly.

“Right.” Emily bit her lower lip, uncertain.

“I just...I’d uh, had a little too much to drink,” Nikolas said, sounding like he was more grunting the words than saying them. “And I don’t know everything I said...I don’t recall most of it, actually...”

Gee, you were drunk? Really? I didn’t even notice, Emily thought wryly, rolling her eyes. She bit back a smile, because she knew this wasn’t all that funny. “Um, yeah, I figured you were intoxicated. Somewhere between me cleaning your clothes, garbage can, and the spot on your carpet where you missed the garbage.”

She could almost hear Nikolas wincing. “Uh, yeah. I kind of remember that part...although I didn’t know you had to clean up after me. I’m sorry about that.”

“Well...what’s done is done.” Emily thought about her statement and added, ”I don’t mind helping you, but I hope I never have to watch you act that way again.”

“I won’t do that again,” Nikolas confessed. “I just...I guess mostly because I said things I regretted, like, uh, well, like--”

“Like, revealing major secrets about people?” Emily guessed.

“Elizabeth. Right.” Nikolas drew in a quick breath. “Yes, that’s what I meant. I was so messed up, I didn’t know what I was saying. I’m sorry. I mean, I know I should say that to Liz, too, and I intend to apologize to her, too, but I thought--”

“Don’t say anything,” Emily interrupted. “To Liz, I mean. We sort of having a mutual understanding right now. I didn’t name names...and you admitting to spilling the beans will just wreck everything. So please don’t.”

“Are you sure?” Nikolas asked.

“Yes.” Emily changed the subject. “So...is what you said about your uncle true?”

“Great. I told you all about that, too?” Nikolas sighed heavily. “Yes, it’s true. I’d just found out the truth about my father, and I was so depressed I needed a way out. So I headed for the mini-bar.”

“How do you feel now?” Emily asked timidly.

Nikolas coughed. “Uh, not much better. But I did discover that alcohol has a bigger downside than benefits, and I’ve spent the past few hours trying to put as much space possible between my so-called family and I.”

“Where are you?” Emily asked, concerned.

“Right now I’m at the Grand Plaza.”

“That doesn’t sound familiar.”

“It’s just outside of Port Charles,” Nikolas explained. “It’s only temporary. I needed to get away from the island, and I couldn’t stay with my mother...” His voice changed from somber to light in a split-second. “I honestly didn’t intend to call you and tell you all this. I just wanted to apologize.”

“Apology accepted,” Emily said. “I’m glad you called. I was concerned.”

“I’ll call you again,” Nikolas said, as if hit by a sudden thought. “I mean, if that’s all right with you,” He added, sounding embarrassed.

“I’d like to hear from you,” Emily said happily.

“All right. Well, good-bye,” Nikolas said.

After Emily had said good-bye and hung up the phone, it rang almost immediately. She picked it up, wondering what Nikolas had forgotten to tell her. “Hello?” She asked.

“Em! Oh, great, I got a hold of you. Finally!” It was Lane’s voice bubbling over the receiver. “I’ve been calling you for, like, the past fifteen minutes and kept getting a busy signal.”

“Oh. I was talking to somebody,” Emily said, then wished she had thought of something better to say. Wasn’t that sort of obvious, that she’d been talking to someone?

“So, anyway, do you want to hear the big news?” Lane asked, obviously looking for enthusiasm.

“Sure,” Emily said, wondering what Lane’s exciting news was going to be. From the sound of her voice, it was a big deal.

“This is so great, Emily. You’re going to die.” Lane paused for dramatic effect. “You, my friend, are booked for tomorrow night. You’re not busy, are you?”

“No,” Emily said, curious. “Why?”

“Because you,” Lane announced,” are going out with me and two of the most gorgeous guys you have ever seen. Including Mr. Highlights from the Seventeen shoot, who specifically asked about you!”

Chapter 20:

Emily felt her mouth drop open. “You’re joking, right?”

“No way,” Lane said emphatically. “I’m a lousy liar.”

“How did you talk to that guy?” Emily asked, still too stunned to believe it.

“I got a call from Seventeen the other day,” Lane said,” and they said they liked my shots and wanted me to fill in for some model that was sick. So I showed up, and that guy was hanging around too--I guess he’s pretty popular at Seventeen. They use him in their layouts all the time. Anyway, I talked to him during a break, and he told me that he’d broken up with his girlfriend.”

“You’re kidding me! He actually told you that?” Emily cried.

“Well...I told you that I like to know everyone’s business,” Lane said. “I managed to get it out of him. Anyway, I told him how I’d become friends with you, and he actually remembered you. He said he thought you were cute.”

Emily blushed crimson. “He said that?”

“He said that,” Lane confirmed. “So, anyway, I met a cute guy who I really liked, and he asked me out for tomorrow night. So I said yes, on one condition: that I get to invite another couple along. And that other guy happened to be right there, and I remembered how much you liked him, so...”

Emily let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “Lane! That is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard!”

“Why?” Lane asked innocently. “I knew you liked him. And he remembered you. The important thing is that he agreed to come with you and me and Dylan.”

“Dylan’s the other model that asked you out?” Emily asked, trying to get them straight. “So who is the guy I know?”

“His name is Brendan, he’s sixteen, and he lives in Palis Shores, not far from here. He agreed to meet us at the PC Grill. You know that place, right?”

“Yeah, I do.” Emily’s mind was still whirling from the news. “But...but, Lane...”

“What?” Lane asked patiently.

“Lane...I’ve never...I’ve never been on a date before,” Emily confessed, feeling very young.

“You haven’t? Oh, no wonder you’re freaking out on me!” Lane said. “I’m so dumb, I didn’t even think to ask you. But really, it won’t be a big deal. I’ll be there, and it’s not like I know the guys. We’ll probably end up in the girl’s room, trying to figure a way to sneak out without them noticing us.”

“Sounds like a fun evening,” Emily said dryly.

“Oh, come on, Emily. Think of it as an adventure! I mean, your first date--that’s big. And you get to have a friend there with you, to take the pressure off, and you don’t have to worry about awkward silence!”

“I don’t know,” Emily hedged, unsure. “I don’t want to feel...” She tried to imagine exactly how she would feel, and a little shiver ran up her spine. Going out with new friend Lane and two gorgeous male models? The idea made her nervous, but it was thrilling too. “Dumb,” She finally finished.

“You won’t feel dumb,” Lane said. “These guys are really nice, and you know I’m really nice, and it’s not like the guys will be able to tell you’re not a dating expert.”

Emily laughed nervously. “Oh, trust me. They’ll be able to tell.”

“Give yourself a little more credit than that, Em. Just don’t let yourself think of it as some big-deal date. Just picture going out to dinner and a movie with me, and add two fine guys who just happen to be coming along. No pressure. Just fun.”

“I guess,” Emily said uncertainly.

“So you’re going to do it? Great!” Lane sounded so excited, it was infectious. “It’s going to be the best night ever! Trust me, Emily. It’ll be a night you never forget.”

Emily closed her eyes, hoping she wouldn’t regret what she was about to say. “Yes, I’ll do it,” She said quickly, hoping to get it out before the sane part of her stopped her.

After Emily had hung up the telephone, she stared blankly into her closet. What was she going to wear? What would she say to the guys? What if it didn’t go well, or Lane had to leave, or something horrible happened?

Emily recalled a favorite saying of her mother’s. It had been so long since she’d last heard it, she couldn’t remember the exact wording. It had something to do with trying new things to expand a comfort zone in life. Supposedly reaching out and doing things out of the ordinary built character.

Emily’s eyes fell on the ruby clip-on earring of her mother’s. She picked it up and twirled it around on her finger, knowing it would have a place in her pocket that evening. She needed all the good luck she could get.

Building character would make for a long, nerve-wracking night.

Chapter 21:

Emily glanced at her reflection in the mirror critically, trying to decide what score she’d give herself if getting ready for an evening out was an Olympic event. “Eight point eight,” She finally decided, nodding approvingly at her reflection. After agonizing over her outfit choices, she’d finally chosen a lavender cardigan, unbuttoned over a white cotton tee, and a short black shirt. She’d pulled her hair up and curled her bangs to the side, pinning up all stray hairs. She’d probably went a little overboard on the makeup, but she’d been so nervous she’d just kept adding coats of mascara and eyeliner.

Emily left the bathroom and peered down at the living room. Robin was reading a magazine while Jason was showing Michael the TV Guide. Lucky had been there when she went upstairs to get ready, but now he was no where to be seen. Maybe he went somewhere with Liz, she thought. She hated the twinge of jealousy she felt, and for a second wished he could see her all dressed up.

Emily walked down the stairs, lost in thought as she realized she hadn’t brought any dressy shoes to the penthouse. “Robin?” She asked tentatively.

“Yeah?” Robin looked up from the magazine and smiled. “You look nice. Going out?”

“Yes.” Emily smiled. “But, um, I have a little problem. No shoes.”

“And you’re wondering if you can borrow mine?” Robin guessed. “Sure. That’s fine.”

“Thanks,” Emily said gratefully, dashing off to inspect her choices of shoes in the front hall closet.

Lucky was just stepping out of the kitchen as she approached the front hall. He held up his handful of crackers in greeting. “Hey,” He said cheerfully. He noted her appearance and his eyes widened. “You’re all dressed up.”

“Uh, yeah, I guess so.” Emily reached for the pair of black pumps closest to her, trying to clam her nerves. She’d just about jumped out of her skin when he entered so suddenly.

“Where are you going like that?” Lucky asked.

‘Like that’? Emily repeated to herself, but didn’t ask questions. “The PC Grill,” She said instead.

“With who?”

“With Lane,” Emily said. She’d told Lucky, briefly, about making friends with her at the modeling shoot. She decided to be totally honest. “And these two guys Lane sort of knows.”

“You’re going out on a date?” Lucky asked, not sounding terribly surprised. Actually, he sounded like she’d just confirmed what he’d been thinking. But he didn’t sound happy about it. “Who’s the guy?”

“Just a guy I met at the Seventeen spread,” Emily said dismissively. “I don’t know him. Lane just decided we were all going out, and there’s no arguing with her when she has an idea. So we’re going.”

Lucky looked at his cracker as if it held the answer to all life’s mysteries. “Do you like him?”

“Do I -- like him?” Emily burst out, giggling nervously. How can I possibly? Emily wondered, when I’m hopelessly in love with *you*? But she swallowed her honest response and shrugged. “He’s okay. He seemed nice.”

It might have been her imagination, or maybe she was just looking too intently, but she thought she saw Lucky’s face flush. He nodded. “Oh.”

Emily sensed that he was uncomfortable, and realized she was tense, too. Back when they’d been friends, they’d never talked about love interest or relationships, but she’d always assumed she could tell him anything. Had something changed in their friendship? Or was the subject just too uncomfortable for friends of the opposite sex to discuss?

There was a sudden knock on the door, and Emily turned. “That’s Lane,” She announced to everyone in the room. “I have to go. I won’t be late.”

“Are you having one of my men drive you?” Jason asked.

Emily bit back a laugh, trying to imagine the mob men escort her to the date. “No, Lane has a car.”

Lucky looked at her critically. “How old is she?”

“Sixteen. She just got her license, but she’s a very good driver.” Emily felt the need to add that, just in case Lucky was worried about her safety.

“How old is this model guy?” Lucky asked, his tone cool.

“Sixteen.” Lucky opened his mouth to say something, but Emily shushed him. “I have to go,” She said pointedly.

Emily opened the door to find Lane beaming at her. “You didn’t tell me you had a bodyguard!” She exclaimed.

“I don’t. He’s just, ah, the watchman. He looks out for us.” Emily realized she hadn’t ever tried to explain Jason’s mob ties to anyone who didn’t know about it.

“Right.” Lane didn’t look convinced. She peered over Emily’s shoulder and noticed Lucky standing there. “Hi. You must be Lucky.”

Emily stood aside and let Lane come in. She looked at Lucky, who looked slightly intimidated. Lane was easily taller than he was, and she oozed power and confidence when she walked into the room. Emily hadn’t ever noticed before how aggressive her stance and posture made her appear.

“Lane, this is my friend Lucky Spencer. Lucky, this is my friend Lane.” Emily introduced them hurriedly.

Lane smiled at Lucky, taking him in casually. “Are you busy?” She asked.

Lucky blinked. “What?”

“I mean, you can come with us if you’re not doing anything,” Lane said quickly. “Me and Em were just going to meet some guys and grab something to eat-- I’m sure Em would love it if you joined us.”

Emily glanced at Lane out of the corner of her eye, startled by the idea. With one glance at Lucky, she saw that the idea startled him just as much.

On a date with Lucky along? Emily thought, mind racing. The very idea! It would be too much like an actual date with Lucky. It would be so strange, so awkward, so...wonderful. She crossed her fingers.

“I really shouldn’t,” Lucky said graciously.

“Oh. Really?” Lane looked disappointed, but didn’t press it. Emily tried to hide her own disappointment for rummaging for her purse.

“Oh--” Emily realized she’d left it upstairs, and frowned. She turned to Lane. “I forgot my purse. Hold on a minute while I get it--”

Lucky held up his hand. “No, it’s okay. I’ll get it. Wait here.” He turned and started up the stairs.

Emily absently introduced Lane to Robin and Jason, and watched Lane coo over baby Michael. She brightened when Lucky appeared at the bottom of the stairs, holding out the purse.

Lane was still cooing over Michael, with Robin and Jason laughing and bouncing Michael, but Emily didn’t hear them. Her eyes locked on Lucky’s. Even when she took the purse from him, her eyes never left his.

His eyes were a deep blue trap. Once she gazed into them, it was like she was trapped with no way out. She tried to resist; what if he looked into the depths of her and could read all her feelings? But she was helplessly locked into the gaze.

Lucky’s eyes were an open book of his emotions. She’d always been able to read his thoughts just by looking at him, and now was no exception. She could feel terrible urgency inside of him and sensed that he didn’t want her to go. Why, she didn’t know. But she could almost hear his eyes begging her not to leave.

For a heart-stopping moment, she almost let her eyes do the talking for her. It was something in the air making her delirious, making her think Lucky might actually return her feelings. Then she dimly became aware of Lane straightening up and saying her name. She broke the gaze with Lucky, turning to answer Lane.

“Yes, I’m ready,” Emily said, her head dizzy from the intense moment.

Lane smiled and pulled her toward the door. Emily glanced back, and saw that Lucky’s eyes had closed up, making Emily wonder if his feelings had ever been right there for her to see before.

How ridiculous, Emily thought, shaking her head. Thinking she could actually read Lucky’s thoughts just by the way he looked at her. I must be losing my mind, Emily thought.

But as she stepped out the door and shut it firmly, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d just made a terrible mistake by leaving Lucky behind.

Chapter 22:

Emily took another dainty sip of Coke, feeling like she was in one of those old Twilight Zone episodes. This one would have to be called “This Can’t Be Reality” and it would feature a regular girl out on a date with two gorgeous guys and a wonderful friend. In it you’d be able to read the girl’s thoughts as she watched the other girl (whose name would appropriate be Lane) tell all the right jokes and make sure that she wasn’t left out. The two guys would also be as far from conceited as was possible, with a good sense of humor and incredibly nice. The twist would be how all the regular girl could do was think about the guy she’d left at home.

“That’s such a coincidence that your mother played for the Port Charles Symphony with my father,” Lane was telling Dylan. “I’ll have to ask him if he remembers her.”

“She was the woman who had orange hair and always wore tee-shirts to rehearsals with things like “Over the hill and proud” on them,” Dylan said, half laughing and half wincing. “I’m sure he’ll remember her.”

Lane laughed. “Your mom will probably remember my dad--think Leave It To Beaver and you’ve got my dad’s style. Pressed slacks, big Mr. Roger’s sweaters and horn-rimmed glasses.”

Brendan jumped in. “My stepmom takes the cake for Most Disorganized Style,” Dylan said. “I’m talking, like, pencil still tucked behind her ear when she’s not at the office, forgetting to take the roller things out of her hair in the morning, stuff like that.”

They looked at Emily expectantly for her can-you-top-this story, and suddenly her smile faded. What could she say? She didn’t know of any funny quirks about Monica, nothing she could share anyway. And Alan...what could possibly be funny about his current description? She felt her throat go dry as the silence grew long and uncomfortable.

“You can’t ask Emily to share stories about her parents,” Lane said. “She doesn’t live with them. Right, Em?” She said it like it was something amazing, something to be proud of. The guys looked at her incredulously.

“You’re kidding. Where do you live, then?” Brendan asked curiously.

“With my brother. It’s not a big deal, really,” Emily said quickly. “He’s twenty-five and I live in the apartment with him and his girlfriend. It’s temporary.”

“How come?” Dylan asked.

Emily felt pressured suddenly. “It’s--it’s a whole big thing, and I doubt you really want to hear about it. It’s very--”

“Complicated,” Lane supplied for her. “Don’t worry, Em. We get the hint. We’ll stop badgering you. That’s the same face I get when my parents ask me about my grades or modeling. I always tell them it’s too complicated an issue to discuss, too.”

Brendan smiled at Emily warmly, making her feel like she’d done something very clever. “Me, too. My friends from school are always ragging on me about my modeling gigs--they think it’s girly. I tell them I’m not allowed to discuss it with outsiders. So now they think I’m in, like, the Mafia or organized crime on a wide-range scale.”

Emily laughed politely, even though it struck a nerve. Imagine how funny it would be if she shared her story. ‘My father’s an addict, so I’m now living with Port Charles’ crime lord,’ she imagined herself saying. That would probably kill the conversation in a hurry.

“My friends think it’s cool,” Dylan said. “They all want to get in it, too--of course, the only part they’re interested in is meeting lovely ladies.”

“That is on of the perks, right?” Lane asked, batting her eyelashes in an exaggerated flirting attempt.

“Definitely,” Brendan said, smiling at Emily.

For once in her life, Emily felt both flattered and slightly embarrassed, but didn’t blush. Instead she smiled back, their moment interrupted by the waiter coming to bring them their orders.

They talked and joked while they ate, discussing lame modeling jobs, exchanging stories of their most embarrassing moments, and Lane even gave Brendan a quick summery of World War I for his upcoming social studies test. It was a highly entertaining conversation, but Emily wasn’t sure she felt a big part of it.

While the others talked, she mostly listened. She answered when they asked her a question, and commented on their stories, but she didn’t have any of her own to share. She felt a slight distance between herself and them. They were seasoned models, whereas she had limited experience. They had a lot more funny stories about dates, school things and people they knew than Emily did.

After they’d finished eating, they lingered and talked a while. Brendan was sitting across from her at the tab, and every so often she’d feel him looking at her. She’d jolt to attention, realize she’d been zoning off, and try her best to stay with the conversation. She kept wondering about Lucky...what he’d been thinking, what he was doing at that moment, and what it would have been like if he’d come.

He didn’t come, Emily told herself fiercely. For obvious reasons, like the fact that a guy doesn’t go on a double-date without his girlfriend. Emily felt a stab of pain at the word, trying to force herself to give up hope on a relationship with Lucky. He was obviously involved with Liz then, and probably was back with her now. Emily didn’t have a place in the picture, and probably never would.

I can’t continue to feel like this, Emily thought sadly. Missing him when he wasn’t around, praying every night that she’d someday mean more to him--it was just causing her pain.

Emily smiled at Brendan as he glanced over, musing whether he even had a clue the thoughts traveling across her brain. Lucky would’ve picked up on her serious vibes within seconds. And yet he’d never seemed to pick up on the countless times she’d been sitting across the room, daydreaming about him romantically.

She’d always blamed it on his obliviousness, but suddenly she realized it wasn’t his fault at all. She’d been hiding her feelings, averting her gaze when he looked at her, clammed up when private confidences were shared. Her feelings wouldn’t be exposed until she was willing to risk exposing herself. She wasn’t sure if she could handle that.